Monday, April 5, 2010

The Injured Stallion...The life suddenly changes..But i still dont know How to write a blog..



Who does not love to have the Deja Vu of their old life ?
School life has always been a bliss. if i recall the past,it wudnt take a lot of effort to remember it.
Bunking the early life i should rather speak about the middle school,the most amazing part of it.
Life as a new teenager... Wooow(i cat stop giving this expression).
You feel the world revolves around you,you want to do things you way,the immature impulsive way.
You don't have the power to reason or analyze things in details..
You just shift from playing football in the evenings to the "Addas" .
The source of re-creation. You shift your focus to Hindi Movie Songs and "Raj" becomes your hero,Or at the max,you become Raj.
How can i be an exception to that ?? "Raj" deeply influenced me... "Naam toh suna hoga".. Dilwale Dulhaniya le Jayenge..
"I wish my dad was as cool as Anupam Kher,n i can call him POPs",i used to think about it all night long,cant say i used to dream as i used to stay up all night and think.
Thus came thr craze of the most important thing at that age,Enter 'The Girlfriend',cell phone at our age wasn't that much of a craze..
I was then in the Eight Standard..
Life Revolved around few few selected person n things.
My Bicycle(My Ducati),My Dad(My pocket money),My friends,My Girl Friend(No 's' here),My stereo player,Books(you can never run away from them,rather i thought i have to impress her mother for the daughter n my dad for pocket money).
Every evening used to be a joyride.. Late conversations after tuition s,discussing,which girl is the best for me or new movie stuffs.
It used to be so damn simple and innocent,never i wondered things would turn up this complicated.
Things have changed so much now a days. i look at my juniors now a days,they are hardly 15 and smoking,drinking and what not.. Shocks me but then this is the new generation,maybe my Dad looks at me the same way.
Coming back,finally i meet this girl in my tuition class,"Yes,she is the one,my 'Simran'.. the heroine.. Fair,pretty,beautiful and charming.. what grace.. Dude im in love with her,i will marry her and we will live happily ever after"..
My friends,they were of my age group,it excited them as much as it did me,thus in a few days slam books interchanged,in a few months proper talks n in a year "Darling i love you,Tujhe dekha toh yeh jana sanam pyar hota hai deewana sanam"..as simple as that.
This is what i call innocence,this is simplicity of childhood,unlike now.
The best way to define it,my friends were as much happy as i was..
That relationship however lasted for a few years.. "i still claim her to be the most charming person ive met in my life,yes she is."

A young and new relationship, education outside n distance killed it before the mind actually developed.For guys it develops a little(very)late when compared to the other sex.

Soon enters college life,when did school life get over ? Let the Hangover end man..!!
I need some time,please.

Being from a mediocre city it would usually take some time for a guy to settle down in a metropolitan city,not my case as i went out early for my high school at a more than mediocre city,this is how i define Kota.
I already know how to live alone to live without th parents so no home sickness..
hey im into college..
Calcutta is a great city.. I meet this Girl.. She is pretty,smart,sober,beautiful but sadly complicated(never knew this before).
The most interesting part she being a Catholic while i come from a not so hardcore Bengali family.
Yes I actually fall in love with this girl.. Story is simple,the Mother hates me like an American hates an Iraqi..
Spent the most amazing time with her,was quite an experience.. I was In Love,True love... what an experience..
But we broke up again... She falls in love with a different guy.. Yes she does,Unless she again starts loving me.. look at at the complications

What not did i do,what not did i try... Is this how you feel when you start attaining maturity ? Is this the most awaited lesson of Life ?
Is is essential to feel so pathetic ? But then the wisdom that you get is worth the hardship..

A price has been paid to attain this Moksha..
The loss of innocence,the loss of sentiments,the loss of emotions,the loss of childhood,the loss of friends,the loss of Simplicity.
What would you call it ? Maturity or Degradation ?

A guy who used to hate smoking becomes a chain smoker. Bottle of appy in hand changes to a Beer can..
The morning smile is replaced by a mourning face. The happy go lucky guy changes to a lonesome loser.
My mom even finds it tough to figure his son now,the creator is confused.
I do cry but there is no one to feel the tears,no one to put a hand on this shoulder.

Irony is that,the guy who always gives his best to keep his friends happy n smiling doesn't know how to keep himself happy or to make himself smile.

I make others laugh,i make fun of myself,i crack stupid jokes i make a complete fool of myself.. I dont feel bad,if it makes you people smile..

This is how i console myself by saying "yes shanu you are awesome" n i pat myself..

*Just last evenings incident..
The mother of the girl whom i used to love just gave me a new nick name. Guess wat ?
"PLAGUE"..loL
I stay alone out here,my mum my dad my sister no one is out here..
I just say to myself,she too has a son,he too will grow up,he too will love a girl once.. Will he be also be called a PLAGUE ??
Will it..

A special thanks to all my friends who have atleast tried to put a smile on this face.. Thanks.
You people are awesome and the best..

I just thought of writing about this, guess most of you are shocked.loL
This is me,the real me..

My teenage is just to get over in about 19 days 18hrs and 42 seconds...
Thought of setting it free here..

Lodsa Love.
God Bless And Stay Awesome..
High Five..
I choose to smile.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

From the Ashes shall I Rise..Coz..Im A ReBel..



:Confession

If you have been following my past blogs you must have realized that i ain't that good in English Language ..
My numerous language Errors are a proof of it.Adding to the spice is ma spelling Errors...
Highlighting the word 'Error' coz the way to perfection is making your Errors your Strength ..!!
Yooooo!!
Man I Worship THE SHAH RUKH KHAN like anything...

:I AM
OK back to my Stuff

Why have i started writing BLOG??
1.Coz Amitabh Bachchan,Aamir Khan and Salman Write Blogs...(Crap, Not coz of this)
2.I am not in the habit of writing a Diary.
3.Desperately wanted someone to share my story with.
4.Man !!! it makes me a lot relaxed..
5.Even you people who are reading know,how relaxed one feels after writing Blogs..

P.S. I Hate Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bachchan and i am not that much frustrated as it looks,i havn't started taking sleeping pills yet.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well,I've named this blog REBEL INSIDE...

I am a Guy from Asansol, a place 220 kms,south of Kolkata,a small city,23rd in the list of big cities in India.
Cleared my Secondary Examination From S.T.Patricks H.S.School.. I Love it,With 87.6% in ICSE.
A Upper Mediocre guy.. Better than Most
Life was amazing then So is it Now..(i mean da present date),Else the Intermediate phase was a total Shit except for Surjo,Kamalika an Suvi..(U people are Awsum)

A rush started as soon as the Mock exams were over,for admission into another school..
Fights,Arguments,Debates and quarrels were a daily scenario...
Situation was even worse than a patient in coma..

Kolkata,Durgapur,Asansol,Kota and Bangalore were on the list
The boards just got over and where to go where to go..!!! ???

Applied for S.T.Xaviers,La Martinere,Don Bosco and S.t James Kolkata,Riverside Asansol and S.T.Pats Asansol..
I desperately wanted to go to Kolkata...
Gave an open FIITJEE test,did well got a scolarhsip and Selected..Was On Cloud #9
Bansal Classes Cleared[the best for IITJEE in the country],Resonance Cleared,Riverside Cleared and Even SPS..

Tough Job it lukd...
I still wanted to Join FIITJEE,kol..Dad Not Interested...Unfortunate me Had To Go with Him (The only thing I regret in my Life)
Kota,Kota,Kota....... Was with Dad..!!
Why? Coz Akash was going there.(Akash-ma childhood friend,The Oldest and an Awsum Guy..Tooooo Good)
Me,Was least interested.. But 'Baap ka bat kaun talega???'.

23rd,April was ma B'day and 24th,2006 was the train...Fuck... I cudn't even enjoy ma Bday.

Kota was WooooooooW,Xcept for studies..MAn ur Dealing with IITJEE(Wich I Molested,brutally)
Man,for the first time in life,1000 mile away from home,old frnds..HAppy n Sad at da same time.

Met two of the best person in My Life(Thanx Dad) ANURAG AND RAHUL..(Man,U guyz were the best i can ask for)
Garg Residency was the place...N hey were the Show stoppers...
Shaanu,Anurag,Akash,Arnav,Jaggi,Piyush,Vishes,Sparsh,Bapi,Jabli,Rahul Bhaiya,Prakhar Bhaiya,Prateek Bhaiya Singh Ji and Sharma Ji...
The Best Perhaps...
Learnt a alot of new words..
#***# Its an ADULT BLOG...
BhenC**D,Maa Ka B****ra,Maa Ki C**t,Dumm Fuck,GayLord,Bhen Ka L**da... And what not..(Jabli,Sparsh n Jaydeep,Kya baat hai boss??)



In All this two years.. I learnt a lot,I cried a lot(I hated Kota),I lost a Lot,I Gained None,I saw myself turning into a man from a boy...
The years ended up,i dnt wana xpand them in detail coz it was jus hell and i dnt like recalling a sick past rather luk for a healthy future and Larger than life Present..
the 12th results were out,I wasted... i was partially devasted... But i belive in the SRK "Never Say Die" Attitude.. So i move on..
As babai says "The Crownless,shall be the King Again"..

I was,I am and I will always be but a Winner...!! I got a reason to Fight,A reason to Live up Again... I am in the lowest fall stage of Life...i can but only Rise up and to the Peak... I smile I Laugh I cheer coz the sadness and bad luck is temporary... I get my position at the peak.. Someone once said "Tough ime dont last but Tough People Do"

And one Thing you must remember that,ive seen most people generally students losing faith in the Almighty in such a stage.. but i have not, it has only made me stronger,stronger than even..
So i ask all of you,if you have ever gone through such a phase or is going jus "Have Faith and keep the beleif,He is luking at you and cheking your endurance power and self respect"....

And remember as i say three things.....
1."Rise Up coz there is no time to Fall".... 2."Extreme passion or extreme necessity will take you to your dream" 3."Make your own life,Larger Than Life"..... Inshallah,All will fare well....

With Lots Of Love
Shaan...

Adios.